The little boy didn't have to choose between the yellow and the red crayon, for it didn't matter that much anymore. The red crayon just wasn't fit to be used, for it was broken into many tiny pieces. Why was it broken? No one knew for sure. Sometimes reasons were not necessary. The red crayon would just stain and dirty the little boy's hands if he was to use it. And for that, he wouldn't want to I guess.

Goodbye 2006. Welcome 2007.

In my world, there's only black and white.

Nothing else.

It's either yes, or no.

No in betweens.

New year. New start.

Let there be tears,
let there be laughter.

Let there be pain, fear and hurt.

Let me brave through these all,

let me not hide.

Let me heal,

and let me love again.

For I am just an ordinary girl, nothing special, nothing great. Show me happiness, and I will smile for you.

Love, like there's no tomorrow.
What say you?

Hello stranger. Are we too close for comfort?

Contradiction.

Have I ever told you that I am a very greedy person? Or perhaps you have already known this very fact, for I am just a simple-minded person. I don't like to lose my independence, but at the same time, I want to have someone to depend on, someone who is always there for me. I have just contradicted myself right? What's new? I don't like to lie, but I feel that white lies are necessary. Yet another contradiction. I want to leave, yet I can't bear to. I am easily contented, yet I am greedy and always want more, nothing else but the best. I don't want to be disturbed, yet I want you to ask.

I think I should just go to bed. Nights.

Thanks..

lalala: ok i tell u
lalala: u go straight then u turn left then turn right then right again
lalala: then after that u go up the stairs
lalala: go past the door... then u turn left
lalala: then u will know

wei ling: tell me where to go.: wrong win

lalala: at the toilet
lalala: nono
lalala: correct
lalala: tell u where to go mah

wei ling: tell me where to go.: lol

lalala: u just follow the directions

wei ling: tell me where to go.: silly
wei ling: tell me where to go.: hhahaha

lalala: can already

wei ling: tell me where to go.: okay

lalala: did u just smile?
lalala: when u hahahaha

wei ling: tell me where to go.: yeah my dear
wei ling: tell me where to go.: thanks
wei ling: tell me where to go.: haha

lalala: gd i made u smile for the day
lalala: plus gave u directions
lalala: lol

wei ling: tell me where to go.: :)

lalala: dont lost already k

wei ling: tell me where to go.: okay

Tell me where I can go.

Have been sighing more often than normal these few days. I should be happy, but I am not. I am just hoping that the start of school will bring everything back into balance. Working is in fact just an excuse for me to escape reality. I don't know who understands. All I am putting up is just a false front. I don't even know what I am doing, is it wrong to follow my heart? The more I try to pull away, the harder it seems to be. Health hasn't been good too. Fun and laughter is just a veil to hide all the unhappiness behind. I am so out of balance.

Of Work.

Today's my third day at work. Working keeps me busy, in a way. There is not a need to think about anything else that's bugging me. This is what I have chosen. Christmas is coming, and this means that Monday will be an off-day for me. I will have four days of work next week. Haha. Yeah, this is the only thing I am looking forward to.

Going to work reminds me of a certain someone. Walking down the same path to the bustop. The same bustop that I used to go to when I was still schooling at the old Bukit Timah campus. The same path that I used to walk with that someone.

I am treading on a thin line right high up in the sky, not knowing when it will just snap and make me fall and never to get up that easily again. And yet I am not doing anything to prevent that fall.

I caught Death Note 2 in Bangkok. I like L a lot. Gil and May are going to Genting and I am not going. Have fun my two dearest darlings! :)

I am so looking forward to my Saturday and Sunday. :) Weekends please come as fast as you can, will you?

Pictures!

The mess. Next week, it will be different.

My sis' darling, with my xd, of course. Who brings a dog along to move furniture around? No one but my sis. Was chided by my dad, as usual. Haha. So her darling was placed on the top of the cupboard so that it couldn't run about. And man was the puppy so obedient. Just sitting there, looking so lost yet so cute. It wouldn't dare to move an inch at all. Not even circling round the little area it had. So so cute.

Attended Frances' wedding dinner last night. Awww..I just looooove weddings..they are always so so heartwarming. :))

The Holiday

"It doesn't matter how many different haircuts you get, how many gym memberships you join or how many glasses of Chardonay you have with your girlfriends.. when you go home at night you think over every little detail in your mind and sometimes you convince yourself that they will come back... hoping that they'll be standing right outside your door."

That's why jerks exist.

This is probably one of the most detailed friendster messages that I have ever gotten from any stranger:

Hi Wei Ling

Probably, it has always been important to catch ones attention and thus, probably with my stringray in my main pic, that will do the trick... Probably, there was a little too much of a hype of the actor that was killed by the stingray, but trust me, when you get it up from the ocean, it is exactly like a fish out from the water...

Was surfing around and saw your profile...You seem like a nice person to get to know and you have got a very nice smile there ... : )

Are you currently still studying in smu or already slogging out for the dough? kekekeke....

Well, i am currently working with STEngineering... err... work is slowly catching up and my eyes are hurting (due to the continueous staring of the monitor screen) Not too sure what to expect in the near future though... Well, thats because i am supposed to improve on the Intellectual Property Management of the company... Its like trying to work a needle into a haystack...There are good and bad factors... Can be rather slack at times ...heehee

As can be seen from my working experience, it seems like i am a frogger... or hopper....but in fact, after graduation, I had a real hard time trying to figure out which type of area i really want to go into u see...

I was in a way pretty lucky to be able to try out work in a management place, research area, law firm and now at a engineering firm but i deal mainly of protecting my company's invention and best interest ...

Sports come second nature to me such as swimming, basketball, jogging, tennis, gym, volleyball... what about yourself? Generally, i am trying my best to master tennis which is something that looks easy to play but yet difficult... If you had tried it before, you will understand what i mean...

On hindsight, i do simple stuff such as relaxing with my kakis over a cuppa... Have you ever tried coffee club express desert of "Muddy mud pie"? Phew, so sinful to actually take the entire desert all by yourself...In fact, i was at coffee club this monday savouring on their mud pie... Yummy, even after a good long run, i guess that basically covers back all the sweat and hard work... haiz...

As can be seen from my main picture, i hope you got it right.... Fishing...I usually go fishing on weekends... Its a hobby that has followed me for plenty of years However, i have grown to only eat fishes which are caught by me... :P In fact, last sunday i was also out in the open sea fishing, the feeling of being able to see the sea from no man's land is so much better...

In fact, i was out fishing on sunday,.,. Was kinda hot and caught a fever... sianz...

Any particular type of songs do you listen to? I do listen to a real wide variety from lounge to rock to sentimental.... Do you club? It has been a while since i last when down to the clubbing scene in fact... Probably due to friends being too lazy and no longer the need to spend money on drinks ... : P

What stuff do you do while you got your spare time? (Knowing that SG is soooo Small)

Hope you dont find this first message too naggy yah...I guess the first impression through this mode of contact should be filled with thoughts esp when I got to impress you to reply rite...kekeke

Here is wishing you a merry christmas and a happy new year... :)

Do hope to hear from u before any of the two festive day : )

Regards
Daniel

Random pictures!

A little sweet surprise from the Head of G&G!

Thank you so much my dear!

I don't know why, but I like this photo of us a lot. And dear old gil, you haven't send me the rest of the pics yet you know! :X

Eh..is this appropriate to wear to a wedding dinner? Seems a little too short..

Another dress. Didn't know it was really so low-cut in the front 'cos I didn't try it when I was buying it. Sigh. How to wear it out without people staring!! Haha..But mummy says it's nice..

Messy table. See the sunflower at the top right hand corner? Given by Gil and May! *hugs* Love the two of you a lot a lot a lot. Haha..

Me acting cute with the clay Doraemon. It was so cute that I just so wanted to get it! There was some coconut drink in it..Oh yah the weather in Thailand is very warm..

Yeah..here's the Doraemon. Haha..

Drink and drink and drink!

Finally I opened my bottle of DOM. Been wanting to open it since a few months ago but just didn't have the mood to do so. Hmm, somehow Yomeishu seems so mild as compared to DOM. Which do I prefer? Hmm....for now, it's DOM. And so this shall be my daily intake. Dad asked me to finish the entire bottle. Don't know how long I will take to do so man.

I am going to have a room of my own! :D So looking forward to it!

It could have been..

I could have blamed it on:
- the lack of sleep because I was woken up at 930am
- a heavy heart that was caused by some upsetting matter the previous night
- swollen eye bags
- the heavy downpour

- the stress/expectations that everyone was giving me

But I know this isn't the case. When everything else fails me, nothing else matters.

I have never been serious about anything. Not even studies. Nothing's really planned. I just go along with the flow. Being swayed here and there. No one cares anyway. Not even when I failed my practical driving test. Not even when I have been spending money like water and having the mentality that money doesn't mean much to me. I am just so so screwed. Not even when I know that I need to slim down a little more but just keep stuffing myself silly with chips. My mum even has to ask me whether I am stressed. Not even, not even, not even. Thousand and one of not evens.

Everyone loves me, but no one really loves me. All I want is for someone to love me for who I am, but where are you? To love me and only me and only only me. But where are you?

At the end of the day, I am just a loser trying to hide in my tiny shelter and away from everyone, away from the dangers out there. This is my only way to seek comfort, in no one but myself. Call me selfish, call me irresponsible. Yes I am. And I don't want to care so much. Please, do not come and find me, for once. Do not try to call me.

I know who are those who care. So please please do not console me or do anything to cheer me up.

I will be okay. As usual.

Running in the rain.

Someone brought me out for a run.
A run in the rain.
Someone whom I haven't seen for days.
Maybe weeks or months, to be exact.

A run in the rain,
to wash all the unhappiness away.
There wasn't anything to worry about.
All I had to do was to follow behind.
He would lead the way.

The sudden sprint and the sudden halt.
The mad quickening of my pace, just to keep up with his.
Only to realise that he was waiting for me at the end of the trail.
And all I had to do was to fall into his arms of comfort.

You are always there for me.
Thank you.

Tomorrow's D Day!

Today will be a stay-home-and-get-fat day. Been eating non-stop. Makes me happy. Should have gone for that buffet instead of staying at home. Haha. Tomorrow's D-day where it will determine everything. Everything.

Why would I let you appear in my life and mess it up; and to disappear and leave me to clean up the shit?

I am just so silly. Now I know how hating a person feels. I don't want to hate you. I really don't want. It just hurts.

If you love me.

Two years ago, I told someone that if he still loved me, he should stop hurting me. And it really happened. He vanished. He stopped doing silly things to me. He stopped everything.

Two years later, this is what I have: If you love me, teach me to forget.

To you.

It's okay to cry, ya know?
Maybe it'll be better tomorrow.
Maybe.
Maybe the pain will be reduced.
Maybe.

Stop doing all these to me.
Please tide me through this period.
I will be fine.
Definitely.

Holidays are finally here!

The parents quarrelled, yet again.
Getting more frequent of late.

I am going on a short trip. Away from everything. Will be back soon! :)

Pictures!

One of my studying areas at home. Yes, it's a couch..notes scattered all over the place..

And this is the spot where I sat..on the floor..

Haha..yes I was that bored..I drew them all..it kinda motivated me intially..counting down to the number of days to 2nd Dec..

It started with Day 13..

and with a blink of an eye, it was Day 1! Time really flies..

Here's me mugging in school..notice the message on the whiteboard..that's the purpose of this photo..haha..

I was "irritated"..haha..by someone who was so bored and didn't want to study and so he decided to display his creativity by doodling on the board..and I still had to pose for him..

Erm..a badly drawn cow..of course not by me..haha..

SMU Passport??

Pink Christmas Tree outside Cathay!! Is there any RED one out there?

Very pretty decorations at Marina!

Christmas Tree decorated with Swarovski crystals! Outside Heeren..

The mess of clothes and notes and bags that I have made throughout the week..piled them all up together..

Birthday wishes for 2002! Every year I will make sure I have at least the same number of wishes as what my age is..so this year it was at least 22 wishes..haha..but I bet I won't have 40 birthday wishes when I am that old..

Birthday wishes for 2001!

Year 2001, actor Luo Jia Liang was on the same flight as me so my friend and I managed to get an autograph from him.. :)

This lady was carrying this big black bag and when she opened it, there was this head and she started doing something to the hair..haha..and everyone was staring..

The Little Boy

The little boy stared hard at his drawing, for the longest time he ever had. He didn't know which color to use. Should he choose yellow, or should he choose red? For those two colors were his favorites, the ones he liked.

For yellow reminded him of the pretty sunflowers he saw the other day, when Mummy was carrying it and dancing around the living room. It had been a long time since he had seen her smile. Someone gave it to her, she said. The little boy liked yellow, for it reminded him of the smile that had enchanted him. Yellow also reminded him of his Precious, the yellow rubber ducky that had always accompanied him in the bathtub. His favorite duck. Yellow is the most beautiful color he had ever seen.

For red reminded him of fear. Pain, blood and sadness. The patch of red he vividly remembered seeing on his left elbow, the tears he vividly remembered streaming down his face, when he tried to touch the burning hot kettle. “It's hot darling, don’t go near it!”, the nanny told him. But just like all kids, the naughty ones especially, they wouldn't listen. He was curious. Red reminded him of blood too, the red liquid that he saw oozing out of Nan's thumb when he was playing with the scissors and accidentally cut her. Red reminded him of the story of the Little Red Riding Hood, of the little girl who was conned by the Big Bad Wolf. The little boy knew that red was dangerous, but that was what drew him to it.

So which color should he choose? The yellow crayon, or the red? Perhaps yellow was better. Perhaps he didn't like red as much as yellow. Perhaps. But he couldn't make up his mind.

“Nan, which color should I choose?” The little boy asked.